Artwork.

I've been dabbling with computer generated artwork for a while now, and decided to go into it with a bit more depth. Here are a few efforts:

IRON MAN 3: WHY THE AVENGERS AREN'T HELPING HIM

After watching the trailers for the upcoming Irom Man 3 film, many people are asking why he doesn't call for help from his Avengers friends if he's in so much trouble. Here is the answer:

THE DRAGON OF CROWBROOK

Meat contamination scandal!

Sport - the dreaded truth.

           The following is slightly based on  real conversations I've had several times, embellished for my amusement.

“So what do you fancy of Barnsley’s chances?” I got asked (Barnsley is my hometown)
“At what?” I replied.
“Football.”
“No idea.”
“You don’t support the home team?”
“Nope.”
“So who do you support?”
“Nobody.”
“You’ve got to support someone.”
“I don’t really follow football.”
“What do you follow then? Cricket?
“No.”
“Golf?”
“Too much walking.”
“Rugby then?”
“Too much testosterone.”
“Tennis?”
“Too posh.”
“Boxing, yeah?”
“Too corrupt.”
“So, it’s motor racing then?”
“Too fast.”
“Snooker or pool?”
“Too slow.”
“Horse racing?”
“Too cruel.”
“Basketball?”
“Too tall.”
“Cycling?”
“Too tiring.”
“Marathon running?”
“Too much... running.”
“Erm – sailing?”
“Too wet.”
“Ice hockey?”
“Too cold.”
“Weight lifting?”
“Too many steroids.”
“Shooting?”
“Too dangerous.”
“Bowling?”
“Too boring.”
“Darts?”
“Too pointy.”
“Mongolian wrestling?”
“Too sweaty.”
“Orienteering?”
“Too technical.”
“Quidditch?”
“Too imaginary.”
“Ballroom dancing?”
“Too shit.”
“Jianzi?”
“Formal or informal?”
“Either?”
“Too obscure.”
“Well then, what sport do you follow?”
“I don’t follow any sport.”
(Cue a bewildered silence)
“You’ve got to follow a sport!”
“No, I haven’t.”
“I don’t understand. If you don’t follow a sport, what do you do?”

Yes, to some people it’s unconceivable that I don’t follow any sports. They are so ingrained in our culture that it’s become a tribal thing. Which means I’m tribeless.  A lone wolf. Outcast, I stand alone. Obviously I should be stood on a cliff top in a dramatic gale with a dark cloak billowing around me.

I can’t help but wonder, what would other people do if sport didn’t exist? I do think some of them would actually be wandering the streets in a zombie-like state, dribbling and bumping into stationary objects.

Well, rant over. If anyone asks, I was never here.

THE ADVENTURE OF PABLO & JOE: EARLY ONE MORNING.

A romantic interlude.

I was going to post this on valentines day, but didn't get around to it.